Ask me anythingNext pageArchive

verticulars:

If you can’t deal with my sarcasm. I can’t deal with being your friend. 

(via sayhellotothemoon)

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via zackisontumblr)

wildcets:

when you do something embarrassing in front of a lot of people

image

(Source: etxt, via californicatinq)

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

isnt:

i wanna play drums w ur butt

(via hugmedarlingimbritish)

popfreakinpunk:

was this movie even real

(via hugmedarlingimbritish)

"If I had a drink for every fuck I gave about you, I’d be intoxicated forever. I’d drink myself to death."

- Anonymous  (via fuckinq)

(Source: peace-is-rad, via ivegotasmilelikecyanide)

friskygrandma:

I!!!DONT!!!WANNA!!!CARE!!!ABOUT!!!MY!!!WEIGHT!!! BUT!!!I!!!DO!!!

(via fake-mermaid)

theboyvvithoutasoul:

theboyvvithoutasoul:

theboyvvithoutasoul:

where do aliens hang out

image

this post is back again and im glad bc i get to watch people get confused about v b n m again

(via because-y-not)